When did feminism become such an elite, intolerant club? Isn’t a key objective of the feminist movement to unify women so we can fight against injustice? I understand why those who identify as a “feminist housewife” may appear as walking contradictions, but I’ve never been so disappointed in the feminist community until this type of intolerance emerged… and toward one another, at that!
Could someone please direct me to the Feminist Rulebook so I can learn the beliefs and lifestyles that aren’t permitted to be a “good” feminist? Is there a feminist guru who carved out one-size-fits-all commandments to be adhered to or be shunned?
I believe that modern feminism (especially in a nation ruled by a hate-spewing, unashamed racist/sexist/homophobe) is in a fragile state as it is. I feel that a major focus of feminism should be to do everything possible to work to undo the increasingly widening divide our culture insidiously engrains in women from childhood on. The media is extremely effective in instilling a subconscious sense of competitiveness and self-oppression in women. Women calling each other “sluts,” “whores,” – or even worse: “femi-Nazi” if a comment gives off the slightest hint of feminist views.
I could go on and on, but my point is that there’s already enough division between women as it is. Sure, there’s always been man-hating “no boys allowed” feminist groups and blogs, but I never thought I’d see feminists turn against each other simply for choosing a lifestyle different from their own.
Being raised Mormon – a religion with extreme gender stereotypes and roles – I recognize that my beliefs are likely a product of religious indoctrination. I was raised to believe that becoming a mother and wife should be the focus of my entire life. Consequently, despite disassociating from Mormonism as an adult, confusing deviancies remain.
I’ve tried to undo the indoctrination and brainwashing as much as I can, but I could never shake the deeply-rooted feeling that becoming a mother and raising children; the act of growing a baby involuntarily in my body, creating my own unique individual human – that, to me, is the defining, most quintessential act of femininity in humanity; the epitome of womanhood. I don’t see how my veneration of the process of procreation makes me any less of a feminist.
I am fully aware that my conventional, gender-stereotypical, dare I say Biblical views on motherhood and marriage are almost unheard of in the feminist community. I fully understand why the labels of “feminist” and “housewife” seem to be extreme opposites on a spectrum. I struggled with guilt that by finding joy in simply being a housewife and leaving the work to my husband, by willingly and happily assuming the conventional roles society impresses upon women, that I was compromising my feminist convictions.
I wrestled with beliefs, urges, religious indoctrination and convictions that seemed so confusingly contradictory at first glance.
As a “feminist housewife” with an innate urge to be a mother and wife, by no means am I confining myself solely to those roles. I can wear a collar, crawl in the floor at his feet by a leash, spend hours each day barefoot (hopefully, eventually pregnant) in the kitchen without being any less of a feminist.